How Do You Handle Your Emotions?
We tend to think of being emotional as a sign of weakness, but if
you think about it – a big dude with muscles throwing a tantrum cuz he
didn’t like how someone looked at him is clearly the (emotionally) weak
one here… just don’t tell him I said that! An emotionally
intelligent person can control their emotions and express them
effectively. Mental strength is important too! Being emotional doesn’t
have to mean crying. I am very emotional, but hardly ever cry! Let me
explain with some emotional intelligence examples and ways to build your
emotional intelligence skills.
Physical strength is one thing, but how emotionally strong are you?
I wasn’t sure how to answer that! Understanding and managing our
emotions effectively isn’t always easy, but after reading this I’ll have
you on your way to becoming an emotional powerhouse! Think of this as a workout for your mind! It might not be able to give you the abs you want, but I believe it’ll help you get the life you want!
Imagine being able to understand what people are really feeling and
not just what they’re saying. Or, influencing people’s decisions
because of how well you communicate?…Nope, this isn’t magic, it’s science.
I’m Emotional, But Don’t Show It!
I’m an emotional person and society has sometimes made me feel like
it’s one of my weaknesses, when in reality it is actually a strength… if
you can learn to be smart about your emotions! When I say I’m
emotional, I don’t mean I cry a lot. I rarely cry. I also don’t mean I
rage either. What I mean is that I feel deeply. Learning more about
emotional intelligence has helped me not only understand how to control
and manage my emotions smarter, but also that emotional intelligence is
an amazing gift we can all learn! After learning how to recognize and
build emotional strength, I’ve realized I am actually pretty emotionally
strong to begin with. I was raised to manage my emotions effectively
from a young age, which stuck with me as an adult.
Knowing your EQ may be more important than your IQ. Emotionally intelligent people are more confident, focused and more likely to succeed source. They also understand others really well!
I’m sure you’ve heard of Emotional Intelligence, but if not – it
involves understanding and managing your emotions… well, intelligently! Through recognizing your emotions, you can better control your life and understand those around you! It’s
becoming more popular as we discover the benefits and importance of EI
and not just the old standard IQ! How we handle certain situations and
circumstances, how we deal with our feelings and express our emotions
has a major impact on our relationships, jobs, and lives. Our feelings
are literally everything we are! For some people it seems to come
naturally. Maybe they grew up with emotionally intelligent parents and
were taught from a young age the tools to manage how they think and
feel. Or maybe it’s partially in your genes. Either way, there are many
tools you can use to help manage your emotions, better!
So, what is emotional intelligence? I consider it like a missing
piece of your puzzle. It’s like that cartoon of the girl saying, Oh, I
knew I forgot something. A career! Well, in this case, we become aware
that someone, somewhere along the line forgot to tell us how to be smart
about our emotions. At least in words we could understand!
But are you or are you not smart about your emotions? I didn’t really
understand how to assess how I deal with my emotions, so I decided to
do some research!
As kids, we often throw tantrums and are taught how to better handle
our emotions. This sort of sets us up for emotional intelligence. But
each of us handles our own emotions, our own way and how we do this has a
great impact on our lives. Some kids weren’t taught how to handle their
emotions and still throw tantrums as adults when they’re upset
oroverwhelmed! People who can’t control their emotions or have a hard
time expressing their feelings don’t likely have a higher EQ. But, there
are ways to strengthen your emotional intelligence.
How To Assess Your Emotional Strength
One standard for judging your emotional intelligence skills would
certainly be how well things are going for you at work and at home,
because our EQ is more important to our happiness, success and health
than our IQ.
If things aren’t going well, you can probably improve your life
drastically by improving your emotional intelligence! The great thing
about it is, you learn the tools, and then the applications are all
around you. No matter what situation you’re in, or what circumstance,
improving your Emotional Intelligence skills will help. You’ll become
more aware of what’s going on around you the things you couldn’t quite
grasp before. You’ll also become a lot more knowledgeable about what’s
going on with other people, and isn’t that always the most difficult
thing to figure out?
Recognizing Others’ Emotions
This is huge- 90 per cent of any persons emotional expression takes
place nonverbally! Reading a person’s nonverbal behaviour can help you
understand a person’s motives much more accurately than just listening
to what their mouths are saying. The body talks too, and often louder
Read the expression on a person’s face, how they sit, how they walk,
their tone of voice, the moments of silence, the look in their eyes!
These are all clues as to how someone is feeling emotionally.
Why Is This Important?
They might be telling you HOW they Think, but How they FEEL
is what’s going to influence their next move. Whether they’re going to
buy a product, hire you for a job or ask you to marry them. These are
all influenced by feelings. Understanding how this works can really help
you understand your own feelings so much better!
Be Smart About Your Emotions At Work
Improving your emotional intelligence can greatly improve your
workplace performance! Some of the most successful people around you,
are probably very emotionally smart! You can be too!
In most jobs you’ll need to motivate others, which involves good
communication skills. Being able to read peoples’ nonverbal
communication is key! Motivation comes from feelings, not thinking! If
you can connect with what’s important to the person you’re dealing with,
or connect everyone TO an IDEA or Mission then you can motivate
them in your direction. A person may say they want to buy your product
or that they love your service or ideas, but actually they hate it.
Isn’t it better to be able to read their nonverbal communication?!
Emotions At Home
Work is important, but home is where we live. If your relationships
are aren’t very good, nothing at work will matter. It’ll also be harder
to focus and concentrate on your job. Why? Because we don’t just leave
part of us at home when we head to work for the day. We are our
emotions. They’re a BIG part of us, and they go everywhere we go!
Couples who communicate better, have better marriages. Couples who
don’t know how to express their emotions intelligently, end up fighting
all the time.
As parents, one of the best lessons you can teach your children is
the knowlegde of emotional intelligence and good modeling of emotionally
intelligent behaviour is a great way to start.
Emotional Intelligence Examples
Actions To Take To Improve Your Emotional Strength:
1. Think About Your Feelings.
Emotional intelligence starts and ends with self and
social-awareness. Recognizing how you feel and how others feel will help
you understand yourself and those around you so much better. What are
your emotional strengths and weaknesses? How am I currently feeling?
What’s really going on underneath it all?
You can’t learn emotional intelligence by just reading about it. You
need to work on it through your thoughts and actions. It’s a process.
It’s difficult to change something you cant see clearly and we don’t see
ourselves as others see us!
Figuring out how to better read others has really helped me
understand how I come across and how others see me too! So, I can
improve how I am portrayed! Sometimes, because of anxiety or whatever, I
come acrooss as rude or mean! Practicing emotional intelligence has
helped me fix that!
2. Think Before You Speak And Act.
Such a simple thing, that EVERYONE can benefit from. Ever say
something out of anger, that you quickly regretted? Or do something
without thinking first and ended up completely embarrassed? Me too!
Taking the time to think about what you say or do can save you from
doing something you’ll regret. It does take some strength, but just like
working your glutes at the gym, it gets easier over time!
3. Give Praise. We all want to be acknowledged for our
efforts. When you recognize other people’s achievements, you’ll
instantly feel better youself. It also builds trust!
4. Be Honest. Being honest about how you’re feeling instead of
bottling it up with help others understand you better. You’ll also feel
a lot better! It’s not always easy to be honest, especially if it’ll
hurt someone’s feelings. I used to agree to things I didn’t necessarily
want to do because I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. But, since I
started speaking up and just being honest about how I feel, I’ve become
way more confident…. and emotionally stronger! I am not saying to be
brutally honest! There is a difference, and if you’re emotionally strong
you’ll understand it!
5. Let Go Of Grudges. Forgiving and forgetting is a great way
to build your emotional strength! When you hold on to anger toward
someone, it’s really only hurting you! Don’t let others control your
emotions! By letting go, you’re taking full control of your own
6. Learn To Say Sorry. Saying you’re sorry when you’re in the
wrong (or sometimes even when you’re not) takes strength. It shows
humility, which automatically makes others feel differently about you.
If you value a relationship, saying sorry doesn’t mean you’re totally
wrong. It means you care deeply about keeping that relationship strong
and moving on!
7. Be Yourself. This goes hand in hand with being honest.
Don’t be afraid to feel what you are feeling and speak it out loud.
Pretending to be someone or something else is so exhausting, mentally!
Stick by your values and principles and understand that not everyone
will agree with it.
8. Accept Criticism. This is a tough one. Noone wants to hear
they’re doing something wrong or that they’re bad at something. It’s
always going to be tough to hear, but try and keep your emotions in
check and use the criticism to either improve or move on and find
something you are great at. You can’t be great at everything!
9. Live In The Moment. This is so beneficial. I’m usually
go-go-go and have a million things on my mind, making it hard to enjoy
and live in the moment. I let my thoughts distract me sometimes. Lately,
I’ve been trying to make a note to live more in the moment and just
enjoy what I’m doing at the time. Writing a to-do list can help you stay
organized, and having it all down on paper can help keep it out of your
10. Learn To Control Yourself. You can’t always control how
you feel, but you can control how to choose to react. An emotionally
strong person doesn’t blow up when they’re angry. They think rationally
and take a moment to think things over before they react.
Give It Time!
Just like going to the gym, it takes time to see real results when
building your emotional strength! It’s easy in the beginning to fall
back into old emotional habits, but with time and practice it is totally
possible to improve your emotional strength!